Do you ever feel the urge to pull away from something, even when it has brought your joy or satisfaction in the past, because it seems too hard or overwhelming? You’re not alone – I am with you on this.
Full days. Commitments. The hours of email. Meetings that create more deliverables but no time to actually deliver. The want to show up for kids, but the timing being in conflict with work hours, Work travel that removes you from your daily life. The seeming impossibility of fitness and health routine in the madness and demands of it all. Feeling disconnected from your partner and passing like ships in the night – sex and intimacy a near impossibility given the circumstances. Not to mention a disconnection from self – the man who sought adventure and made things happen in the world and for himself in the not so distant past.
Whether it’s skipping an event because you’re too tired, avoiding a difficult conversation because it’s uncomfortable, skipping a workout, not going on that longer ride or hike because it feels like too much to rally for, or putting off a daunting task due to uncertainty and sheer number of steps and time invovled—these feelings are part of our human experience.
And as we become older our tolerance for these discomforts and uncertainties becomes smaller and less forgiving – we become less tolerant and flexible – you know the feeling and can see it in your own life. And…it is totally normal and to be expected.
Why? Like our personal fitness – staying engaged in uncertainty is a practice that takes discipline, repetition, and accountability. It doesn’t come for free.
But, there is also the reality that taking time for rest and self-care is essential. It’s okay not to constantly push yourself. But there is a line here that we must be careful not to cross – the line of complacency. Because, at some point, we must intentionally step back into discomfort. Why? Because if we don’t, we risk allowing our lives to contract.
When we shy away from discomfort, overwhelm, or uncertainty, we train ourselves to retreat. And over time, this pattern results in our lives shrinking, making once-doable tasks appear impossible. This is the natural process of contraction, but here’s the bold truth: we don’t have to succumb to it.
How do we push back? By deliberately choosing to face discomfort and uncertainty, even in small doses. Start by acclimatizing yourself—each day, when you can. There will be times when rest is necessary, but commitment to challenging yourself, no matter how small the step, is key.
There is an adage in climbing: when you climb you climb, when you rest you rest. Sounds simple and obvious – but the reality isn’t so simple. It takes immense clarity and discipline to stay focused and apply that awareness.
The same is true for our ability to contract or expand. Seems obvious – but demands clarity and discipline.
Every small step you take helps you expand rather than contract.
This is how we step back fully into our lives – and own the narrative, own our own life’s trajectory.
I have chosen to dedicate my profession to this cause – to be the conduit and accountability to support expansion and challenge and offer the antidote to contraction. Share with me your challenge and what you want to make happen in the remaining months this year and into 2025.
